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Suicidal

This tag is associated with 6 posts

Vital signs

With the windows open in his room, he’ll sometimes lie on the bed, hands laced behind his head, and listen to the tree in the front yard. The tree that is falling apart one strong gust of wind and one limb at a time. He’ll listen to the sway, the rusting leaves, eyes closed, searching … Continue reading

Down in a hole

I was trying to help Doctor K understand, and I’d come up with a pretty good analogy for it—so good I suddenly felt the warm and tinglies, and I believe my soul may have smiled a little. “It’s like a huge hole, all the way down into the earth—miles and miles down. Well, on those … Continue reading

Clouds

“… and this is cliché, but it’s kind of like clouds,” I said. “In what way?” “Sometimes the sky will be dark and full of them, you know, and those are the really bad times, the days when I’m in a really bad place and, and … that’s when I can’t stop thinking about it—dying. … Continue reading

Pinky swear I will

Haven’t been writing much at all these past several days, and whenever I do it’s not fun not enjoyable not even good. Really struggling to give a fuck about anything. Been reading this little book about suicide and in one chapter it breaks down in graph form exactly who is most at risk on the … Continue reading

sadfaxz./

So I don’t know where I am right now. I mean I had a pretty decent day today—did some creative writing, some reading, some cleaning, and just in general felt good about myself. Then I log online and a few hours go out the window, I think about the interview I sat for yesterday (which … Continue reading

Bury these warning signs

Had a moment the other day when I took from the fridge the small basket containing all of my pills and set the bottles on the counter one by one. When I get to something like buproprion, sometimes, you know … sometimes I wonder how many of those pale, hospital green pills I’d need to … Continue reading

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