Mr. Self-Destruct

This category contains 5 posts

Down in a hole

I was trying to help Doctor K understand, and I’d come up with a pretty good analogy for it—so good I suddenly felt the warm and tinglies, and I believe my soul may have smiled a little. “It’s like a huge hole, all the way down into the earth—miles and miles down. Well, on those … Continue reading


So I don’t know where I am right now. I mean I had a pretty decent day today—did some creative writing, some reading, some cleaning, and just in general felt good about myself. Then I log online and a few hours go out the window, I think about the interview I sat for yesterday (which … Continue reading

Sliding toward oblivion / Nurses know best / Drugs, drugs, more drugs

Things continue to go as they have been the last couple of days, I’ll be anemic soon, electrolytes will be all fucked up, and I’ll be very weak—weaker than I am currently. Last time I felt myself getting this bad was during Flare #2, and I’d reached the point where the thought of walking to … Continue reading


So if this blog is supposed to be honest and real then I suppose I should highlight some of beautiful highs and lows of the last couple months. Let’s just start with the most serious first: I flunked out of my classes this semester. Was taking an English class and I couldn’t get my head … Continue reading

Bury these warning signs

Had a moment the other day when I took from the fridge the small basket containing all of my pills and set the bottles on the counter one by one. When I get to something like buproprion, sometimes, you know … sometimes I wonder how many of those pale, hospital green pills I’d need to … Continue reading

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